So…AUTHENTICITY.
On two separate occasions in the last week, my authenticity has been called into question. Weird, right?
The first occurence constituted someone telling me that my clothes are off-puttingly neutral and that I “don’t have to be on the yoga channel all the time.” Then, a few days later, I was told that the way I move my eyes & turn my head while teaching yoga is too copy-catty.
Commence collective eyebrow-raise.
I’m not going to respond to these accusations (?) individually for two reasons: 1. I am trying to believe that these comments came from a place of compassion, and 2. what the WHAT?! How do you respond to that??
The bigger issue, for me, is a question of authenticity. If Buddhism and yoga practice share a common aim of dissolving the idea of “self,” how do we develop an authentic presence?
I can’t actually answer that question, though I’m sincerely hoping that some of you will offer your thoughts. What’s been turning over again and again in my mind is this: What if we started accepting one another as 100% authentic? Obviously I’m not suggesting that we decide to get collectively duped by every smarmy sleaze-fest trying to sell us something, so don’t start ranting about my raging naivete. What I’m talking about is a mutual understanding of how hard we’re all trying to figure ourselves out.
One of the most excellent things about being an adult is looking back on pictures of your youthful self and laughing at how ridiculous your wardrobe and styling choices were. But I bet if you went back in time and asked six-year-old Becca why she wore a sky-blue, tie-dyed, glitter-accented-floral-print-applique shirt to school at least twice a week, she’d have a really excellent response that would have nothing to do with hiding a muffin-top or complimenting her skin tone. She probably just liked loved it. Pure and simple, 100% genuine.
The older we get, the more we doubt our innate ability to express ourselves to the world. We get so wrapped up in how our choices will be interpreted by everyone else, we stop acting from a place of authentic presence. But what if we gave each other a break? What if we could decide that whoever is in front of us is exactly who they are, with no put-ons and no hollowness? We could put down our torches and pitch-forks and just be with each other instead of perpetually trying to stab holes in the armor we assume everyone is wearing.
Until then I’ll be swathed in day-glo, hunting for a more honest way to move my eyeballs inside my skull.
Once again, I love this post. And we must phone-chat soon.
I think we can try to understand each other and our respective motivations and personalities, while also accepting each other at face value.
I know that the self I present to the world isn’t always entirely genuine. (If I’m going to “keep it real” here, I’ll clue you into the fact that I’m a smart-ass a good deal of the time just to push people away. Now the cat’s out of the bag!)If people can accept that while understanding that maybe there’s more to me then that’s fabulous. I hope I do the same for others. I’m going to go with you here and just give people the benefit of the doubt.
Wow, I’m rambling. I love you. That is all.
PS- That may be the most inarticulate thing I’ve ever written. Ha.