Becca Faith Yoga

I HAVE AN IDEA.

WELL, I HAD AN IDEA.

Birth of the idea THE IDEA:  On my birthday last year, I was sitting at my desk eating chocolate-covered strawberries (thanks, D-cer!) when it suddenly occurred to me that no one had asked me that painfully un-answerable question, “How does it feel?” in regards to my new, one-year-older status.  I realized that adults don’t ask other adults this question because we don’t want to face the answer, which is “It feels shitty.” I’ve never been someone to rue getting older, but I certainly understand the logic behind not wanting to celebrate the body’s slow and inevitable demise and our plodding advance toward death. I learned in a cultural anthropology class that the tradition of showering people with cards and gifts and cakes-on-fire emerged from the belief that a person is most susceptible to demons & danger on the anniversary of his birth; surrounding the birthday person with symbols of our affection is a way to ward off said demons & danger, who will balk at taking on such a raucous group of cake-eating, punch-sipping gluttons. I digress!

I decided to put the question (“How does it feel?” — keep up with me people!) to the test. I wrote myself a letter. At the top, it says something like THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY (2009), and is a page-long shout-out to all of the things I was worried / happy / sad / frustrated / excited about in that moment. I sealed it up and mailed it to myself with warnings on it like DO NOT OPEN UNTIL FEBRUARY 20, 2010 and, upon receipt, I hid said letter behind a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon in my mail sorter. I plan to do just as the envelope says and open it up on my birthday and see if anything I cared about last year still applies. It’s an exercise in impermanence, to be sure, and I am hoping it will help teach me a valuable lesson about the futility of playing into our daily dramas.

Relevance of THE IDEA: I’ve noticed a lot of folks getting real uppity about the holidays. It’s a stressful time. There are presents to buy, parties to attend, family gatherings, travel…it’s a lot to do, and it all costs money, and it all involves the blessing-curse of lots of time with family. Like I said: stressful.

Application of THE IDEA: When you are at your wit’s end and you think your holiday-filled head will explode, sit down with a cup of tea (or chocolate-covered strawberries) and make a list. You can call it whatever you want, but I recommend a highly generalized title so you don’t feel restricted (e.g., IMPORTANT SHIT XMAS 09). Start writing. Don’t think about what you’re writing, no matter how petty or trivial it seems. Heavy things (relationships, illnesses, metaphysical crises) can mingle with your grocery list, gifts you still have to buy, an argument over dirty socks you had last night. Just get it all out. Place your list in an envelope (tucking it into a holiday card would be a nice flourish), address it to yourself, plaster the envelope with warnings, place an actual stamp on that thing and mail it.

The first happy realization comes when you open your mailbox and find the envelope 3 days later and discover you’ve already forgotten half of what you wrote. Resist the urge to rip it open and remind yourself. Hide that shit somewhere out-of-sight, and set a reminder on your phone or in your planner for a day in December, 2010 (don’t forget to list the envelope’s whearabouts).

I’ll be opening my envelope in February and will share the entire contents of the letter with you when the time is right. I honestly can’t remember a single damn thing on that list but I really can’t wait to do a year-to-date review. I get a giddy, child-like feeling just thinking about sliding the paper out of its cocoon to reveal its now-defunct, totally irrelevant contents.

Just think: by this time next year, future-you could be considerably less stressed because present-you will have reached out from the past to smack your now-present-self in the face with the truth of impermanence. Bring on the egg-nog — there’s finally something to celebrate!