Becca Faith Yoga

This past weekend I celebrated my commencement from Raji Thron’s Basic Yoga Teacher Training, and have been trying to write about it ever since. It’s my third graduation in as many years, and I had hoped that by now, I would be able to articulate all of the contradictory feelings that surface when we acknowledge the end of one phase in our lives and the beginning of another. I’ve written about transition before — about the way all things arise, abide, and pass away — but there’s something else I want to say that’s sort-of unruly & sticky & hard to chew. Mercifully, 2500+ years of yogic wisdom stand at the ready to assist:

See, all of this graduation stuff is exactly like bakasana (crow pose).  Notice the immediate similarities:

NYU GSAS Graduation 2008

Bakasana

Super obvious, no?

Learning bakasana involves a tricky interplay between two parts of the mind. One part is ready to rely on the strength of the body and understands that correct alignment in this posture will result in steady balance. Another part of the brain is VERY SURE YOU ARE ABOUT TO FACE-PLANT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN YOUR CLASS AND KNOWS THEIR IMPENDING JUDGMENT WILL RAIN DOWN ON YOUR LIFE LIKE FIERY ARROWS IN A DRY FOREST. So amidst all that mind chatter, you do a couple things: pull the elbows back like we do in chaduranga, engage the lower abdomen, squeeze the knees into the upper arms, inflate the upper back (cat-spine-style), look forward, and ground the hands at the root of each finger. Maybe all of that is pre-empted by coming deep into malasana (squat) and just working the knees into the armpits, or placing a blanket under your (vulnerable, beautiful) face while you tip-toe your feet in, in, in, and even up, up, up.  Despite the citta vrittis (turnings of the mind) — or maybe because of them — you find balance for a moment, then another moment, then another. The mind starts chattering away with a new catch-phrase: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?

All of this effort to get up here, and now what? WORK IT is what. ENJOY IT is what. OBLITERATE YOUR SENSE OF SELF-CONGRATULATIONS BY TRYING TO JUMP BACK TO CHATURANGA OR TRANSITIONING TO TRIPOD HEADSTAND is what.

So what does any of this have to do with graduation? Working toward any kind of degree activates the same contradictory scripts in the mind; while one part is sure that focused effort and hard work will lead to balance and opportunity, another part is sure that failure looms nearby regardless of your actions and face-planting in front of strangers is so possible your teeth hurt. Still, you persevere.  There are small movements, invisible gestures, moments of heartening victory and heart-dropping defeat. Eventually all of this leads to a much-coveted fugly costume (complete with ridiculous hat) and prized parchment, and you think WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?

All of this effort to get up here, and now what? WORK IT is what. ENJOY IT is what. OBLITERATE YOUR SENSE OF SELF-CONGRATULATIONS BY GOING ON YOUR FIRST JOB INTERVIEW AND REALIZING THAT NO ONE — REALLY, NO ONE — CARES ABOUT YOUR INTEREST IN THE HIDDEN PROPERTIES OF SEXUAL EXCHANGE IN SPENSER’S FAERY QUEENE is what.

To my fellow graduates commencing the world over, I say: Well done. Now keep looking forward, ground yourself, and make sure to leave space for what’s next to arise (abide, and dissolve).  Congratulations!!